I spent some time this weekend with my friends Briley and Adrienne. They showed me around (safely) and I got a chance to turn my brain off for the first time in months and just enjoy the ride. I made the choice to only have one camera on me, when normally I have at least 3. Threw my Hasselblad and some film in my bag and hoped for the best. Shooting *only* film is always a little risky because you never quite know if it’s going to work out. But as we were walking around this one particular park, and Briley was taking some photos of me while I took photos of her, I had a moment of pure relaxation and joy wash over me. Looking around at the light through the trees, I took a deep breath and remembered how much I love to make photographs. Especially with the people I love and admire most. It made me happy and sad and calm and excited all at the same time. I’ve never been very well spoken, I stutter sometimes when I get anxious or excited, I am not that smart about most things (or I don’t feel like it most of the time), I’m introverted which makes it hard to exist in an industry that values being boisterous. But making art feels good. It feels like an effective way for me to communicate how I see the people around me or how I feel in any particular moment. Can a photographer be quiet and contemplative and still succeed? I’m not sure yet. Though my business is what I would classify as successful, I still need to have a full time job on the side to make up lost ground.
I’m almost 30 and I want to make art. I want to make art with all kinds of people. From all walks of life. Maybe someday soon I can figure out how to do that sustainably forever.
